The ex-Housemartins and Beautiful South member has taken part in our Nutty Quiz! He will be performing on Sunday at the House of Fun Weekender, and we can't wait! Here he is on swimming, ice cream and more...
How are you and where are you right now?
I'm sat at the computer answering these questions in my home in Manchester but since you insist on using the ridiculous Americanism 'right now' I've no idea where I'll be when you read it!
Will you be visiting the pool during your stay at the House of Fun, and what is your best swimming technique?
I can't really swim. I'm not scared of water and weirdly enough I can dive but doggy paddle is my only real stroke. If anyone wanted to kill the Beautiful South, and I'm sure many did, drowning would have been the way. Only one member [Jackie] could swim.
Do you like to be beside the seaside?
I adore the seaside. Whether it be just a small beach and a splash in the sea or the whole Punch and Judy, hankies on heads affair. The great thing about the seaside is it's great fun in the middle of winter.
Would you prefer a stick of rock or a nice ice cream?
I'd prefer Ice Cream but not this bleeding sexualised Ice Cream. Just give me a Funny Feet, a Zoom or a Walls Dracula and piss off with your orgasm flavoured Cornettos!
What was the first Madness song you heard?
I heard The Prince when it was first released and loved it. Still got the 7". A very great start to a great career.
Who’s your favourite darts player?
The great Dutch dartist Co Stompe by a long way. He comes on stage to Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas for absolutely no reason at all.
What will you be doing to make sure the House Of Fun is lots of fun when you’re on?
Smiling and talking and singing. It's all I can do these days.
Would you rather be an acrobat or a magician?
No contest - Magician! Acrobats are onto a losing ticket because at least 50% of the audience wants them to fall off. The other 50% are asleep or reading the programme.
Are you a secret pool hustler?
No. I think pool should be banned in pubs.
Tell us a joke
Q. What do the stick- rock makers of Western-Super-Mare put on their sticks of rock?
A. W.S.M
Not really a joke just a really sad fact due to the long place name.
Visit Paul's website here, and see a video below.
